I have wanted to start this for months. In fact I was so bummed I never really got it started while I was pregnant. The season we were in with the remodel made it nearly impossible. Then when I was about to start it Eli broke my tripod on accident. By that point I was so exhausted it just never happened. So here we are again. I use to get in the photos more with the kids. They were terrible, but I was there. Somewhere we stopped doing that. I have been meaning to begin again. Then I was invited to join a group specifically for that with other photographers. It was inspiring needless to say. Finally I am ready to begin this project as I have been in a rut for well over a year. I am hoping to push myself again and dig deep. These kids are not getting any bigger and I am just as part of the story as they are in our family.
Self portraits are hard. I am the first to point out all my flaws while I am doing this. I hate my hair this particular moment (I don't really I just am using that as an excuse), my c sections have ruined my stomach minus all the extra skin and weight, I have a double chin. I could go on. Instead I am hoping to get over these things and grow and see what my family sees because that is important. I also can look back and see progress from where I have come. I can't wait to see where this project takes me photography wise and just personally. Looking at ourselves through the camera is never easy unless you are a cute kid.
Goals by the end of this
1. Somehow lose the remote. I know I can adjust settings and I will
2. Finally see what my family sees instead of all my flaws.
3. Grow photography wise, It has been a while for this just for sheer lack of interest or push.
Witching Hour
For weeks the babies go through the typical hours of crying and wanting to be held. Baby-wearing has been my sanity. This week I began taking them outside in some sort of carrier and bouncing and walking them to sleep. Usually it is just Annalise, but sometimes it was both. I wanted to document this time. Many emotions have come over me the past couple of weeks with the change of my OB and knowing I may not have that option again for pregnancy. Anthony and I have said we are done just for my health reasons, but man that is hard to grasp. I still have not processed everything from their birth and it has all been a lot. I have been soaking in as much as I can with these babies even if they are cranky. So I walk, sway, pat, and relish these moments. The sun setting is always a wonderful way to end the night.
Laundry
Sunday I usually fold all the laundry. Unfortunately two weeks in a row that did not happen due to cranky babies, and Anthony working on the plaster in the downstairs so I didn't want dust. We are preparing to paint. So today was the day. In that time though we have had summer and winter clothes mixed. It meant a lot of clothes, plus the baby's clothes were mixed in there, and usually they are not. It was a massive amount I had to document it plus the fact that Daphne was sitting with me and giggling and her usual happy self.
Soon each kid will be making an appearance. I can't wait to continue to work on this and pour my heart and struggles here. I know it is what I need at this point. Motherhood is so hard, but these are the moments that make it worth every minute and I want to cherish and remember them.
