I have been meaning to write this post for a couple weeks, but life of course has happened.
28 was a huge year of reflection for me. I always think yes, I know who I am nothing really is going to change. Then I get slapped in the face with reality. I have honestly dreaded getting close to 30. I have no idea why, but I have. Maybe the older I am getting I am realizing life goes so quickly. How much of a difference have I made in that time that seems so long, but yet so short?
I sat in the bathtub the eve of my birthday relaxing. It had been a LONG day with 3 monkeys. I needed some breathing room. I sat and reflected over the year. Had I met the goals I was working really hard to attain. No, I had not met them completely. The good news was I was better off going into being 29 than I was going into 28. I was smaller, less stressed, more present, and happier.
I reflected on the fact I have one more year of my 20s. How would I define the 20s of my life in the coming years? To be honest, I couldn't remember a lot. I guess I chalked that up to child and baby fog. In reality. I spent my 20s soaking up my babies and enjoying them. Endless hours of diaper changes, rocking, crying, laughing, and love. Of course there were the frustrating times of wanting to crawl in a hole and make it go away, but all the good outweighed the bad. I thought about the time we live in and is this the norm? Not necessarily. Many people would probably prefer to wait to have kids from when I did. I don't mind though. I may have spent my 20s in yoga pants, not showered half the time, a messy house of kids toys, overweight, and looking like I survived on coffee and sheer will. Was it worth it? I could have been successfully working and building a huge house with all the upgrades I wish I had, spending late nights out with Anthony, sleeping in until I wanted on Saturdays, exercising without children between my legs or a jogging stroller, taken many vacations we just can't afford. So did I miss out? I weighed it in my head and really thought it through. The answer was a big no. I did not miss out. I am building a heritage. All of my things for the most part may be used or from goodwill. I may have to move kids toys from the bathtub just to relax and ponder these thoughts. I also may have to forgo vacations or even seeing my family. All of that can be hard sometimes, but it is so worth it with these kids. So 20s regrets would have been not letting my dear husband gut my upstairs. That might be it. Then I could actually add another child to this crazy mix.
So here we are 29, and I am learning even more. Emails can wait a week. Yes, that is terrible to say, but I put off a weeks worth of emails. Instead Eli and I spent time reading, Lilliana and I drew, and Ari well we probably had a go around about something. This would of course lead to cuddling. Either way, less email responses means less stress and more fun. So those of you I have not replied to, I am just enjoying these kids. Ending my business has been wonderful for my head and stress. I worried come spring I would miss it. I did for about a minute. I haven't had so much fun with the kids outside and with school in a year. I don't have to hurry and get done so I can do all the business work. It has been wonderful. I do miss the extra cash flow, but that is ok. For now this is what is important. 28 I said was my year, and it was in so many ways. It allowed me to begin initial changes for the better. 29 is even better as we are enjoying those changes. It isn't so scary being almost 30. With age is coming wisdom. The age old adage is true. The last but not least thing that I always knew, but maybe have not always put into practice. Beginning the morning praying and reading just one verse of scripture can make or break the days. I know the days when I have woken up and rushed downstairs to deal with kids and not done this. It has made for a rough morning. Sometimes I just need that quiet time with God so I can be a good mom and not a dreadful, cranky, mean one. Yes, I can be I fully admit it! It is a work in progress and always will be.
It was a wonderful birthday with this crazy crew who even made me a great cake!! They made my day special in their own little ways. I am so thankful for their little hearts and the joy they have in celebrating everybody's birthday. I am also very thankful for my wonderful husband who made the cake with them and made my day so special.
28 was a huge year of reflection for me. I always think yes, I know who I am nothing really is going to change. Then I get slapped in the face with reality. I have honestly dreaded getting close to 30. I have no idea why, but I have. Maybe the older I am getting I am realizing life goes so quickly. How much of a difference have I made in that time that seems so long, but yet so short?
I sat in the bathtub the eve of my birthday relaxing. It had been a LONG day with 3 monkeys. I needed some breathing room. I sat and reflected over the year. Had I met the goals I was working really hard to attain. No, I had not met them completely. The good news was I was better off going into being 29 than I was going into 28. I was smaller, less stressed, more present, and happier.
I reflected on the fact I have one more year of my 20s. How would I define the 20s of my life in the coming years? To be honest, I couldn't remember a lot. I guess I chalked that up to child and baby fog. In reality. I spent my 20s soaking up my babies and enjoying them. Endless hours of diaper changes, rocking, crying, laughing, and love. Of course there were the frustrating times of wanting to crawl in a hole and make it go away, but all the good outweighed the bad. I thought about the time we live in and is this the norm? Not necessarily. Many people would probably prefer to wait to have kids from when I did. I don't mind though. I may have spent my 20s in yoga pants, not showered half the time, a messy house of kids toys, overweight, and looking like I survived on coffee and sheer will. Was it worth it? I could have been successfully working and building a huge house with all the upgrades I wish I had, spending late nights out with Anthony, sleeping in until I wanted on Saturdays, exercising without children between my legs or a jogging stroller, taken many vacations we just can't afford. So did I miss out? I weighed it in my head and really thought it through. The answer was a big no. I did not miss out. I am building a heritage. All of my things for the most part may be used or from goodwill. I may have to move kids toys from the bathtub just to relax and ponder these thoughts. I also may have to forgo vacations or even seeing my family. All of that can be hard sometimes, but it is so worth it with these kids. So 20s regrets would have been not letting my dear husband gut my upstairs. That might be it. Then I could actually add another child to this crazy mix.
So here we are 29, and I am learning even more. Emails can wait a week. Yes, that is terrible to say, but I put off a weeks worth of emails. Instead Eli and I spent time reading, Lilliana and I drew, and Ari well we probably had a go around about something. This would of course lead to cuddling. Either way, less email responses means less stress and more fun. So those of you I have not replied to, I am just enjoying these kids. Ending my business has been wonderful for my head and stress. I worried come spring I would miss it. I did for about a minute. I haven't had so much fun with the kids outside and with school in a year. I don't have to hurry and get done so I can do all the business work. It has been wonderful. I do miss the extra cash flow, but that is ok. For now this is what is important. 28 I said was my year, and it was in so many ways. It allowed me to begin initial changes for the better. 29 is even better as we are enjoying those changes. It isn't so scary being almost 30. With age is coming wisdom. The age old adage is true. The last but not least thing that I always knew, but maybe have not always put into practice. Beginning the morning praying and reading just one verse of scripture can make or break the days. I know the days when I have woken up and rushed downstairs to deal with kids and not done this. It has made for a rough morning. Sometimes I just need that quiet time with God so I can be a good mom and not a dreadful, cranky, mean one. Yes, I can be I fully admit it! It is a work in progress and always will be.
It was a wonderful birthday with this crazy crew who even made me a great cake!! They made my day special in their own little ways. I am so thankful for their little hearts and the joy they have in celebrating everybody's birthday. I am also very thankful for my wonderful husband who made the cake with them and made my day so special.
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