Self Portraits of Motherhood- Diaper Changes and Reflections

Today is a big day in reflection for me. One year ago I walked in for an ultrasound so excited to find out the gender of our fourth child only to be told there was two little girls on the way!!! I don't think I will ever forget the feelings of that day let alone week. It was bittersweet beyond measure. That week brought a crazy amount of growth to me as a person and mother. Many things I had to eat my words with because I openly proclaimed I would never have another c section except for breech or twin births. God must have had a funny sense of humor. I prayed so hard for that vaginal delivery, but these girls were just stubborn. Then there was the sheer fact of two babies. I was scared beyond belief but somehow I sucked it up. 

I reflected today to see if I would have changed how I felt or done anything different. The answer is a big no. I had to mourn the loss of my homebirth. I also had to mentally prepare for a hard pregnancy and a crazy first year. I wasn't planning to be cut open and recover from that, but I am finally at peace with that.  8 months later and I still am dealing with issues from my incision. It can be a hard reminder to think back to those first couple of days of Daphne being in the NICU because my mind always goes there. Thankfully I am finally emotionally and mentally accepting and being ok with it all. 

The reality of all of this is it has been 100 times better than I ever could have imagined. I say that with 2 weeks worth of photos just sitting waiting to even be pulled off a memory card. I say that as my days fly by just from all my mom responsibilities. We are doing good if I am in clothes by lunch time. I say that as my laundry is a bit of a mess at the moment. I forget to brush my teeth some days. I also have hardly slept the month of October thanks to lots of teeth and sick babies. I knew that would be rough and it has. It is worth it though.

I have watched my oldest child become so responsible and bond with Annalise like he has never bonded with another sibling. I have watched Ari become the biggest lover and protector of the babies. He has grown into a big brother and does a marvelous job. I have watched Lilliana enjoy the role of being an older sister and also "second mom." We are working on that one. Regardless it has been wonderful. I have also watched myself grow in ways I didn't think possible. Taking all 5 out just is not daunting anymore. I have watched my husband become an even better dad if that is possible. We also work together better than we ever have. 

Then there are the girls. They have really stolen all of our hearts and been the biggest blessings to us. It is amazing how awesome it is. I could go on and on about them, but Ill spare all the details for their 8 month post that may or may not get done this week.......

Diaper changes may seem so silly to photograph, but I don't want to forget the wrangling of two and the interaction we have. The girl's pretty much look forward to being tickled and  "This Little Piggy," especially Annalise. That girl LOVES it. Daphne likes it, but then she is on the move again. I took the time one day to document it messy hair, mess all around, and just a typical day around here. 

I am so thankful for all of our kids, but especially the blessing of two at once!! 

A Michigan Fall

Pure Michigan shows so well in October. Seriously October probably tops my favorite month of the year just for the fall colors. This year has been a wonderful one too. The leaves have slowly changed and it has been nice. They hit their peak this past week and it was glorious! I have not gotten to enjoy it as I usually would because let's just say 5 kids and lots of new baby teeth emerging. Truthfully I am kind of over here surviving barely making it above water. In fact fall leaf pictures almost didn't happen. I figured the leaves would  be off the trees, but thankfully it all worked out. This is the latest I have ever done them and the result has been wonderful. 

The kids also love when the leaves fall. They spend hours outside with the rakes playing in the leaves. One particular night was so warm and they were out enjoying the leaves. It was almost dark. I actually figured these would be this year's pictures. 

Just as it was time to come in and get ready for bed Ari comes running in the house to yell, "look I'm pregnant!" It was hilarious. Of course Lilliana and Eli had to follow and do something silly too. 

Fast forward to last night and finally we decided it was the night. It was chilly, but considering the kids did pretty great. 

I can't decide if I am really smart of if I just am really sooo tired that this is the best solution. I had every intention of making all five kids costumes this year. In fact a month ago we began planning. I was not buying costumes. I know $20 is not expensive, but when you have 5 kids or even 3 it is! So, we were planning to make them.  I could probably spend a bunch of time thrifting for them, but honestly I just don't have that time to dedicate to it. Well, the babies just have not slept and Anthony and I could not get it together with Soccer every Saturday and then keeping the house up, homeschooling, and just being present for five kids. Last weekend it was apparent it was not going to happen. We also are getting to the point we do not put undo stress or burdens on ourselves. We are learning no. We just have to. So, I casually asked the kids how they felt about staying home and having a Halloween party instead. We could buy Halloween candy, make popcorn balls, have cider, have homemade Halloween masks, and watch a movie. My kids didn't even bat an eye. They were thrilled and that is all they have talked about. They can't wait. All they cared was that we bought some candy. So tonight we are having a party. They spent yesterday making masks with Anthony so we took some pictures of them. Ill table our costume ideas for next year and hopefully I get started earlier. 

Michigan has been good to us this fall. Now if I could get some sleep I might feel even better. 

For the Love of 7 Months

Yep as per usual I am way behind on the girl's photos this month. First, the days were really rainy and dark the beginning of the month so I didn't have the best light on my bed. As it was when I finally got around to it, I pushed my camera and they are not my favorite because it was just cloudy, but that is ok. The other thing is we are FINALLY in a wonderful school routine and I just have not wanted to mess with it any day. It sounds silly, but I just did not want to disrupt our day. In fact today I did them and it disrupted our schedule and well needless to say I had distracted kids and ended up sending them outside. So we are at 7 and a half months really but that is ok!!!

Every day we look at these girls and just marvel. There really is nothing sweeter than walking in and seeing two babies laying asleep together or playing on the floor together. It is the most special thing. I reflect on it a lot and know God knew this is exactly what I needed. I was burned out and frustrated as a mom and I think he knew I needed an extra blessing to appreciate all my kids and to realize how incredibly lucky we are with twins. 

DAPHNE

We will start with Daphne because she is kind of moving through the milestones like crazy. She is now crawling and into everything! Anything electronic is her favorite. She actually giggles and squeals if she can get to a video game controller, phone, or remote before you get it put up. She is also VERY determined. Anthony and I were so wrong about personalities. We thought for sure she would be the people person. Nope, she is so much like Eli and curious and a big wiggle worm. She could care less about anybody if she has her mind set on getting something. She now can crawl to me crying the entire time instead of laying on the floor waiting for me to get her. This video is the beginning of her really starting. She had been on all fours, but as soon as I started videoing she stopped. Either way you get the idea.

Her nickname that is pretty much stuck is Daphne-Doo. I started calling her that and now it just is what everybody calls her. She still adores Ari beyond belief. Her hair is as red as ever and she has the bluest eyes. She also is getting curls! She sort of will eat solids. We are gradually working on it. She as of tonight has 5 teeth poking through. She has two bottom teeth and 3 top teeth have come in this week and she is working on her sixth tooth which is a top tooth. She is not sleeping well consequently. She has discovered the dogs and loves them. She wiggles and giggles when they walk by her. She loves to pet them. She hates being in the car after 7:00 p.m. as it is dark and she cries. Needless to say I avoid trips in the evenings now. We pretty much adore her to pieces and seriously her hair is amazing!

Annalise

Annalise is not far behind in the crawling. She pushes herself backwards and gets so frustrated. She has watched Daphne crawl the past week and gets sooo mad. She sits and cries and whines and tries to go forward only to scoot backward. It is rather humorous.  She is getting BLOND hair! Who would have guessed. It also is beginning to get curls. I am almost positive she ends up with brown eyes as they are already changing. This will be the first child of ours that has eyes that change so soon. She is eating solids sort of. She is lazy and wants me to feed her (we usually do baby led weaning and let them feed themselves finger foods). She loves purees so we keep going that way.  She makes a face every time we give her food that she hates it but she keeps wanting more so I give it. Her nickname is still Missy-Moo. She now has 5 teeth also. She has 2 bottom teeth and 3 top teeth. She is sleeping a little better than Daphne. 

Personality wise she fooled us too. We thought for sure she would be determined. Nope, she is a people person. She loves to interact. She loves to sit and play games. She is a huge mimick. She mimicks Anthony frequently. She LOVES me to tickle her especially "This little Piggy." She loves Pat-A-Cake and books. She is a lover and more willing to sit and listen than Daphne the spaz. 

They both also survived their first evening away from us and did pretty good! Anthony and I finally had a date night thanks to family watching all the kids! 

Needless to say they are getting huge and we are thoroughly enjoying them!!!!