New Washer, TV, and Going Solo

Well today seemed to be a good day. It is the best I have felt since delivering Lilliana. I was a little sore at the end of the day but after relaxing feel great. My washer came so I spent the day catching up on laundry I wanted to save for the new washing machine. I also cleaned the house just a little bit. I am now ready for the week without somebody being here 24/7.

Anthony went grocery shopping for me today so we all did not have to go out. He stocked up so hopefully it does not have to be done for two weeks. I got to stay home with the two kids by myself. It went great. I was a little nervous but it helped that part of the time was during nap. Last week I was  having huge anxiety attacks about staying home by myself and wondering how I would do it but I think my hormones have evened out a bit so now I feel better. I may have some rough days but I think I will be just fine! I do have a good friend coming tomorrow and then another friend on Wed. Anthonys mom is helping out on Tues along with his sister or his great aunt. Aunt Toni is taking Eli for the afternoon tomorrow so I think I should be good. Anthony might be home part of the day on Tues. anyways as that is the day of the funeral for his coworker. I have plenty of help and feel good about it.

I LOVE my new washer. I actually enjoyed doing wash today. I normally hate it but this was fun. I am sure the newness will wear off soon. Anthony also got a new TV today. It was his anniversary present really. We really debated about getting it but I decided he should get it. Sometimes he needs to just relax and I know he likes playing video games. He is great about not overdoing it and only playing after everything is done or I need help. It has not always been that way but he has done a lot better. I personally do not care if we have it or not although I am glad because now I can begin excercising and don't have to think about how I was going to start that. All in all it was a good day. I am sad he is going back to work tomorrow but somebody has to work to pay the bills.

Everything Breaks and Newborn Pictures

I have decided we have the luck of right after we have a baby something breaks that is not an expensive fix. After we had Eli our transmission in our car went out. We had not even owned the car a year. We got it fixed no problems. This time its our TV and washer. Now the TV is not essential to our lives so we can live without although in a few weeks I will want one to start excercising. The washer is a different story. We have needed one for a long time so it was coming. Thank goodness we got our tax return so yesterday I went and picked out a washer. As odd as it is I have never been so excited to do laundry tomorrow when it comes. I am soo odd I know but I am excited. 

Today I finally did Lilliana's newborn pictures. I have been wanting to do them forever but of course she is only a week old and I needed to rest. It was an interesting experience. She loves her pacifier so we had a hard time getting her to cooperate without it. Sadly the best pictures she has it in her mouth but I got some good ones without. I really love photography. I always have. I don't think I am some great artisist or anything but I enjoy it. I am not as good as my Uncle Eric I do know that. I enjoyed playing though. A lady in our church that knits graciously made me a baby bowl and cacoon that is in the pictures. She did such a great job and I was so excited to use them. They will be posted at the bottom.

Eli and I have had a great day together. I was finally able to get on the floor and play with him after many months of not. He continues to be such a good big brother. He is always helping and kissing Lilliana. He has also started helping with chores on his own around the house. If he sees us doing something he jumps right in and helps. He is such a good little boy and I am so glad I can enjoy him a little more now that I am not huge and pregnant.

Anthony goes back to work on Monday. I am very nervous about it but am feeling better and think I will manage. I have some friends helping and Anthony's mom helping this week and the following so I should be good.

We were also reminded of how short life can be this weekend. One of Anthony's coworkers was killed in a car accident on his way home. He was only 20 or 21. That is the second tragedy I have heard of young people passing away that I knew this week. We never know how short our time is so we must use it wisely.

She is sooo chubby and it shows in this one. Probably not the most flattering picture but it shows her chubby cheeks.

This bottom one with the pouty face is my favorite!

Let the Crazy Days Begin

Yesterday was Anthony's and mine anniversary. We really did not do a whole lot but relax. Aunt Toni was such a blessing and took Eli so we had some time to enjoy each other and just sleep. It felt great. We were going to go get a milkshake because for some reason that is my new addiction but I did not feel up to it so we will go another time I am sure. I LOVE my husband and he has been such a wonderful man to me. He has helped me so much this week. It has been an easier recovery compared to Eli but even then he was my rock and kept me going. I am a lucky lady.

Today we decided we would get out of the house for a bit. I really wanted to go even though Anthony thought I should rest. In the end we compromised and just took his check to the bank and went to Meijer to pick up a few things. It was nice to go out but it was plenty of excercise to make me a little tired. It felt good though. I am off all my blood pressure meds at this point and today is probably the first day I have felt really good!! I can't believe it has already been a week since I had her but I do feel great.

Eli had a funny moment today. We got some snow last night so Anthony was out shoveling. I was getting dressed to go to town and Eli was playing. He had just had a snack. Well apparantly the snack was not good enough. He got into the fridge, pulled out a container of frosting, took it to his chair and began shoveling it into his mouth. I come out to see the fridge open and he covered in chocolate. LOL I could not even be mad at him. I just grabbed my camera and took some pictures. He is such a goon but we love him.

Here is little miss chubby Lilliana! Her cheeks are soo chubby its adorable. I think she takes after her auntie Tosha with her crazy hair!

Thank God for Family

The past two days seem to have been very trying and overwhelming! I find myself very overwhelmed with eveyrthing going on and everything that has to be done. Then I sit back and look at my family and I AM SOO BLESSED!!! Eli is adjusting very well and we have noticed a huge improvement in his listening, obeying, and all around communication skills. He has become very responsible and grown up so much in the past 5 days. He also has a lot of energy which has not been easy but we are working hard at finding outlets to release that. He helped Anthony shovel the foot of snow yesterday that we got. He LOVED being outside doing that. It also burned a lot of energy for him.

Thank God for extended family. Yesterday we needed a few things and Anthony's mom graciously drove and got them. We thought she had gone to work but did not and felt bad because she made a special trip but were so blessed. I also forgot to mention that Eli went bowling on Sat like he usually does only this time they let him actually bowl. Usually he just goes and watches. HE IS IN LOVE!! Aunt Toni took pictures and I need to get them. She has been such a blessing getting him and taking him. He loves going to her house to see her and "THE KIDS!!" We are hoping to take him for his birthday next week depending on how I feel and Anthony's work schedule.

Thank God for Church Family......We have been receiving meals every night from our church family. It has been such a blessing not to have to think about food. I don't even think I probably would have felt like cooking until today. We truly are such a blessed family and I can not wait to see how God has blessed us with this little girl.

Lilliana is yet to start any sort of schedule we had two good nights of sleep and then last night that went downhill. I was up with her all night. She is such a sweety and soo different that Eli when it comes to nursing so I am dealing with some issues there but we are working through them. She is already back to her birth weight as of today so doing great!! Hopefully in the next couple of days I will be up to doing her newborn pictures. I have been wanting to do them but KNOW I NEED TO REST so I am!! In fact Eli is gone to see family again tonight so I am off to bed to sleep while I can!

The Highs and Lows after having a baby.

Wow it has been a world wind of crazy and overwhelming feelings the past two days!! I am beginning to wonder what I got myself into. I LOVE having another addition to our family but we had a rough first 24 hours after she was born. She constantly wanted to nurse so I literally got no sleep until last night. That can make for one tired and cranky momma. Eli was stressing me out, she was, and so was Anthony. Needless to say my wonderful friend came to my rescue and assured me I can do this!! I have the world's best friend when I need it so thank you Meghan!! All her advice worked and last night I got some sleep and woke up feeling so much better. I do know my hormones are crazy and that can cause a lot of problems.

Some funny and sweet things Eli has done since she has been born.....

He brought us the doll that we were using to get him use to her and asked us to turn it "on" like her.

He kisses her all the time

He tries to give her his cars so she will play with him.

He loves to hold her hands.
He always says "Hi Lilliana!"  when he comes near her.

He is the best big brother and is sooo in love with her. I could not ask for a better life with these two!! God blessed me.

Lilliana seems to be a lot calmer than Eli so we are grateful for that! She is not as demanding either. She is also not as advanced. We never had to hold Eli's head up he did it from birth. She is not as strong. Honestly, I am glad for this. He was so advanced he was not my baby long!! She is now nicknamed "Eskimo" as she has the chubbiest cheeks and looks like an Eskimo baby when we swaddle her all up.

I thought I would tell you why we chose her name. Names are always difficult for us. We just never can find the right name. I have two middle names so all of our girls will. No matter what if this was a girl it was going to be Nicole Rose for the middle name. Nicole after my mom and Rose after part of my middle name. I have always loved Lily but it is really popular lately so when I was pregnant with Eli I found Lilliana and LOVED it. Then he was a boy so it got tossed out. This time I threw it out from the beginning. I just said no its popular so we wont use it. Honestly her name was going to be Ruby or Ruby-Mae. I wanted the Mae on it Anthony said NO!! Ruby is after my Great Grandma. Then I thought about Lilliana way later into this pregnancy and one day it just fit. So I talked to Anthony about it. We had boy names from the beginning. It would be either Joseph Isaiah or Isaiah Christopher so that was a done deal. We just could not come up with girls names. Anthony knows how much I loved her name and could not really ever come up with anything he liked so it worked:)

I have to say I am feeling great compared to recovering from a C Section. I am amazed at how mobile and how much more energy I have. I forget I need to slow down a lot so this morning it caught up with me but I have to say hands down I will take a Vaginal birth over a C Section anyday and Yes I would still do it all natural out of the hospital even thought that is the some of the worse pain I have ever been in!

I think Anthony is a little overwhelmed but he is doing well. Eli is keeping us on our toes but I hope in the next couple of weeks we adjust and are able to cope better!! Here are some more pictures. This poor girl is in trouble! Momma is already playing dress up and loving every minute of it.

The Birth Story of Lilliana Nicole Rose

Yesterday I had a baby appointment and never really thought that today I would be having a baby today.

Last night was absolutely miserable. Eli was up every single hour and I was so fed up I took some benadryl because I knew I needed sleep. I kept having gas pains or what I thought starting about 5 this morning. I told Anthony to drive himself to work and not take the work truck just in case but honestly thought it would be nothing. Eli showed up in bed with me after Anthony left at 5 for work. He slept with me until 7 where I got up and took him potty because he had to go. As I bent over a had a gush and thought oh geez I just peed my pants!!! The first time I have done this this pregnancy. Then it hit me well that might be my water. So I went to bathroom and realized I could not control it. I then called my midwife. I wanted to labor at home but my contractions started pretty hard and strong. Aunt Toni came to take Eli. Anthony had to be called home but was about 2 hours away.

I had some things to get together before I wanted to head to the Birth Center. I started getting them but my contractions were intense. They were coming quick and hard. I told Anthony hurry but when he got here I still insisted we clean even though he kept saying we need to go. Finally I realized at about 9:00 we needed to go. So I got ready to go. I wanted to cry in the car knowing I would not be able to move through my contractions or anything.

We arrived there at 9:30 a.m. I went in and immediatly wanted in the bath tub. I also wanted to push. My midwife checked because I was crying thinking it was too soon. She checked and I was only at a 5. So I got in the tub. I was in there for 5 minutes and decided it was not comfortable. I then got out and went to the bathroom. I just paced for a few minutes but I kept feeling like pushing. My contractions were long and hard!! I sat on the toilet and began pushing. Yes I know very glamerous the toilet!! LOL I pushed for 24 minutes and she was born. It was amazing. It hurt but it was amazing.

We spent the day cuddling and enjoying her and are currently home. Eli loved seeing her and was sooo excited to hold her.


She was born at 10:24 am so a 3 and a half hour labor. She weighed 8 pounds even. She is 20 inches long. I am happy to say I had a out of hospital VBAC birth with NO medication, IVS, or any medical intervention!! It was amazing! She is perfect and I am so glad she is part of our family!

All about a Natural Birth

I think I have found the time to write my post on natural birth......Bear with me and I hope it is not disorganized as honestly, I could gooo on for hours.

When we think of birth in this country we think of the lady screaming in pain as somebody is racing to the hospital. They rush her in give her an epi, pull her legs back to her head, tell her to push while counting to ten. Finally the baby is born placed on mom for a few seconds if they are lucky and then rushed over to a table to be cleaned or whatever they deem as "medically" necessary. All the while mom is anxiously awaiting to see her baby. Yes, I know there are exceptions and this is not how it always goes but the majority of the time it is. Let me preface this entire post by saying there is a need for hospitals at times and some people love having the security of a hospital and I am not getting down on anybody for what they choose! This is what we choose and is for our family.

When I got pregnant with Eli I thought I would have him at the hospital and see an OB etc. After going to the Ob a total of 2 times I was not convinced. I had a run in at one point with them and basically the OB told me I was stupid for asking questions and questioning him about him wanting me to get a Hepatitis B vaccine while pregnant. That is when I began to do some research.  I am so lucky in that I live in a area where there is an independant birthing center with 3 practicing midwives. It is not affiliated with any hospital or anything. I orginally looked at going there but decided it was a no go as they do not offer epidurals and I thought there is no way I could ever give birth without it. It is a mind set we have been taught from little girls by TV I think. After talking to my grandma I decided maybe I would try it.

Every Thursday night the birth center offered a informational meeting. Anthony did not like my idea of having an out of hospital birth and I think was secretly hoping I would lose interest. He forgets who he married. I went and was convinced this is what I want. I don't remember a lot but I do remember I needed Anthony to attend one and that this is where I wanted to be. It was like a home. Some of my aunt's have given birth at home. My mom wanted to do a homebirth too but from preeclampsia was not able to so this was normal to me after I really thought about it. It was not normal to Anthony. Anthony finally went. We also interviewed a midwife for a home birth but decided after careful consideration because of the time of year and how far we were from a hospital it was not what we were ready for. The birth center is 5 minutes by ambulance away from the hospital.

After our first appointment I was excited but also thought oh great....these people are the green hippies!! LOL Little did I know I would soon become like them and now I don't look at it that way. I still was excited about it. Going to a hospital can cost anywhere from $10,000 to $20,000. That to me is crazy!!! Having a baby should not be this expensive but it is a HUGE business!! Our total for the birth center which let me remind you includes all prenatal visits, childbirth classes, 2 massages, the birth, and 6 weeks postpartum care with some home visitis included is only $3800. A stark contrast to the hospital. The other thing is they take time with you!!! It is not five minutes in and out. We have hour appointments. We also can call anytime and know a midwife will call us back not just a nurse or receptionist. We are educated in birth and can make decisions as to what we want tested for not just here lets take your blood. To me this is huge!!

I watched the Business of Being Born shortly after we made our decision. It really helped solidify my thoughts on this.  Here is a trailor for the movie if anyone is interested in watching.

As I soon learned from my midwives there are some things that would not be done and I had to just rethink my thoughts regarding these. The first thing is they do not induce. This is a foreign concept to a lot of woman because they just get induced when they are 37-40 weeks. It was foreign to me. My thought was I just have to wait until this baby arrives.

Here is the thought behind this. Usually pitocin is given for induction. Pit is EVIL!! It actually gives you the kind of contractions you need for the end of labor to push. So you want an epidural because hours of that is just excurtiationg and honestly that is just too much. An epi can then slow labor down so pit is upped. This just starts a vicious cycle. By this point a lot of time the baby is having too hard of contractions and is sent into distress so what do you know its time for a C Section. Yep an unnecessary surgery that if you probably would have just let baby come it would have!

Here is my other thought on Epidurals.....no matter what anybody says I do believe they have an affect on baby!!! I have seen a video on my birth classes to prove this. I wish I had the video to show. The moms that had the epi and were allowed to keep their babies did not climb up their mom to nurse whereas those that went natural did. Sooo say what you want but I have seen an epi does confuse baby. I had one with Eli I am not going to lie. I hated it and to this day still maintain when I was laboring without I felt less pain.

Another common reason for C Sections is failure to progress or baby got stuck. Well yep that is bound to happen when you are stuck on your back is probably the absolute worse position for this. the problem is you have an epidural and are numb so there is no other place. When in all reality you could be out of bed squatting or just walking and letting gravity work. Yes you might feel some pain but I promise you just let your body do what it was meant to do and stay relaxed your natural endorphines would kick in and its amazing. They feel great! I remember less of that part of my labor with Eli then when I had the epidural.

Cervical checks are a big thing done too in the U.S. before you go into labor. They are not done in most European countries until labor. It can introduce bacteria and cause early labor so it is not routinely done there. Here in the U.S. they start checking around 36 weeks and any time you go to L&D for any emergency. Thankfully our midwives do not do them and not even in labor unless they need some more information or you ask. I won't be asking as they HURT!!!

The interesting thing is in most European countries a midwife is used over an Ob unless you have problems. Here in the U.S. midwives are practically thought of as unsafe and its terrifying to have a birth outside of the hospital. I hated having to have Eli in the hospital but it was very necessary and I know this.

So let me give you a picture of what my dream or ideal birth will be with this baby and how many births go at the the Birth Center......

I will labor at home until I feel like I need to be in the place I am ready to give birth. I will go to the birth center which is a lot like a home. I will labor in a big tub or where I feel most comfortable whether it be walking, squating, or laying in bed. Most likely I will not want anybody around. My midwives will listen to my breathing and how I respond and will not have me hooked to anything but periodically come in and check on vitals for me and baby but not bother me unless I need it. Its my show and I will do what I need to. Labor is a dance between mom and baby and only we know what needs to be done to get baby out. I hope to give birth in the bathtub but who knows I may be more comfortable somewhere else. When baby is born NOBODY will take it unless of course there is a huge problem. We will also not cut the cord until it is done pulsing. That blood is babies blood and will help it. I will be able to cuddle and hold the baby as long as I want before they weigh it and do all the other things. We then will crawl into bed and I will be able to co-sleep unlike at the hospital until it is time to go home. I can not wait!! I hope everything goes as planned. If for any reason I do have to be transfered it is for a reason and I trust my midwives as they are trained in birth not surgery like most OBs. I am sure I have missed some things but here is a general idea of how we want it. If anybody has any questions feel free to ask.

Here is a link to the place I will give birth. Feel free to read the birth stories. They are inspiring and who knows you might learn something new:) http://www.greenhousebirthcenter.com/