Well, WE DID IT! I never dreamed I would make it through the girl's first year in one piece. Hands down the fastest best year of my life. I am sitting here crying thinking about how incredibly amazing, hard, joyous, and wonderful this year has been. The emotions of their birth still can be overwhelming. I sit back and can still feel the incision pain. It makes me hurt. I remember those five days of agony that my heart felt as Daphne was in the NICU. Being wheeled to her NICU room in my wheelchair in agonizing pain but couldn't wait to see her. Then being wheeled back to my room my heart broken leaving her every time. It is the most heart wrenching pain as a mother I have felt and I hope NEVER to have to feel that kind of pain again. If I do, I know I can make it. I remember how absolutely tiny they were. Their heads as big as my palm is all. Then I remember the HOURS UPON HOURS sat nursing them. The feeling of wanting to throw them off me, but somehow I stuck through it. 1 year and we are still going, with out much end in sight. Then it began to be fun. The giggles, hand holding, watching the older kids interact. Then before we knew it they were crawling. Now they babble and are just plain amazing.
The first six months I got the best sleep ever. I wish I could say the same now. Either way, I have learned so many things about myself as a mom by adding twins. In some ways I think every parent should experience it. It has been amazing. Hands down I can honestly say I would do it again. If you can get through the pregnancy you can definitely get through the first year. My fears were correct in some areas like teething, and both having stomach flu. That is pretty miserable, but everything else makes up for it times ten. I also realized I am stronger than I thought. If you would have told me that 12 months ago, I would have laughed. Through it all these two have made me love and appreciate my other kids even more. Above all else. I would not have ever made it without my wonderful husband. He has taken care of me in my most desperate times. No matter what he has always grabbed all the kids and taken them when I needed a break. He selflessly lets me sleep in almost every Saturday. Truly without him I would not have survived this year. So without any more sobbing stories. Their yearly letters begin and all their photos.
Side note: These girls hate the camera. I thought for sure I would end up with 3 muses. Nope I am absolutely positive Liliana will always be my muse. She posed at a year old and these girls, well let's just say I took them to the greenhouse. You can see the photos are dismal at best. Then today after 4 hours with lunch and a bath in between I got a handful. At one point Annalise would be laughing hysterically and as soon as I pulled out my camera pout and cry. Seriously!! These photos do not do justice to how absolutely adorable and sweet they are, but that is ok. They join the ranks of Ari and hating pictures. It is so bad, I will be waiting for this weekend to do their monthly ones to finish their collage. I can't take another terrible day of photos. It might really make me feel even more defeated regarding photos and them.
If I could squeeze your squishy body forever just like it is, I would be happy. I never guessed my teeny tiny girl with jet black hair that felt like duckling fuzz, would turn into my squishy spunky almost blond haired baby girl. Your animated spirit makes me giggle and become more in love with you everyday. Some days you frustrate me with your little temper, but then you smile and I love you to pieces. As I was exercising and you were sitting on top of me tonight. I wanted to remember that moment forever. My teeny tiny girl was now standing on me giggling and babbling while I was desperately trying to get back in to shape. It made me smile.
You may be a Daddy's girl through and through, but I can always count on you to yell "MOOOM" when you are really upset. I can't wait to watch you grow. I can't wait to see if you rule the roost as you do to some extent now. You are such a sweet spunky child.You are loved more than you will ever know. I am so thankful for you.
Love,
MOM
My Dear Daphne-Doo,
You are like a little porcelain doll. You are the most delicate child ever. You are so dainty. Ill never forget when they pulled you out and the nurses brought you over and were comparing you and Annalise while you were on my chest. They kept repeating how dainty and petite you were. It rings true today. Your shy unsure spirit fits you so well. I know I always have to look out for it or you get your feelings hurt.
Most days I love waking up next to you in the morning. You love to grab my cheeks and kiss me. Then you begin babbling in the tiniest, softest, sweetest voice. Your bright blue eyes are shining and you are smiling with the biggest smile ever. I love to play Pat-A-Cake with you. You are so bright and learn so quickly. I can't wait to see where that takes you. You light up the room so much with your joy. I can't wait to see you bloom and grow and if you come out of your shyness. I love you forever Doo.
Love,
Mom
Happy Birthday Sweet Girls. You are adored more than you will ever know!
