Tomorrow begins school for us. It isn't just preschool or making sure we know the basics, it is kindergarten per standards of where Eli should be. It is overwhelming, but also so beyond rewarding. I have seen for several weeks many of Eli's friends go to their first day of school. Their moms, my friends are sad and try not to cry I know this is the normal, I just have no idea how they do it. Maybe I am overprotective or selfish, but I just know I could not do it. We home school for other reasons besides that, but being able to be with my kids all the time is an added bonus. I realize homeschooling is not for everybody so I am in no way criticizing. I just notice how hard it is to send your child to Kindergarten for the first time.
I sat here reflecting over our summer. This summer was very much a pivotal point for me personally. I began the year determined 28 was the year I shed 5 years of baby and nursing weight. I did well, I was eating better and exercising. Sadly, nothing was working. If anything I was maybe gaining weight. I was at a breaking point. I cried many days trying to get dressed. I sat at good will one day trying to find a pair of shorts to just be able to wear around the house that fit. I did buy a pair, but sadly they were a little snug. I wore them anyways in the comfort of my home. I refused to wear shorts out because I hated the thought. I was starving pretty much the entire month of June from cutting calories to no avail. I had stopped nursing Ari at that point and knew I could cut the calories and be ok. I remember crying one night and just hating my body. Anthony said what do we need to do so you feel better and lose the weight you want to. I should preface this by saying, no matter what he has always loved me and never put any pressure on to lose weight. It has always been my own pressure. I really wasn't even healthy at this point. I ached. I would complain I felt like I was 60. I couldn't go to bed at night without taking motrin because my back hurt so bad. Things needed to change.
I sat here reflecting over our summer. This summer was very much a pivotal point for me personally. I began the year determined 28 was the year I shed 5 years of baby and nursing weight. I did well, I was eating better and exercising. Sadly, nothing was working. If anything I was maybe gaining weight. I was at a breaking point. I cried many days trying to get dressed. I sat at good will one day trying to find a pair of shorts to just be able to wear around the house that fit. I did buy a pair, but sadly they were a little snug. I wore them anyways in the comfort of my home. I refused to wear shorts out because I hated the thought. I was starving pretty much the entire month of June from cutting calories to no avail. I had stopped nursing Ari at that point and knew I could cut the calories and be ok. I remember crying one night and just hating my body. Anthony said what do we need to do so you feel better and lose the weight you want to. I should preface this by saying, no matter what he has always loved me and never put any pressure on to lose weight. It has always been my own pressure. I really wasn't even healthy at this point. I ached. I would complain I felt like I was 60. I couldn't go to bed at night without taking motrin because my back hurt so bad. Things needed to change.
I was about to start an expensive exercise program when an ad popped up on FB. I normally hate the ads. I really do. They drive me nuts. This one caught my attention though. It was Trim Healthy Mama. I thought about it and decided when I got the money I would buy the book. Mean while I did as much quick research as I could and began implementing a few things. I won't go into details of the book because honestly you can find blogs worth and even their FB page explains so much. If you want more information Gwen's Nest is a great place to start. I finally began implementing "the plan." It was not difficult and for once I could eat and was losing weight. The first week I lost 5 lbs. and 8 inches alone just from eating. I also was not eating off the wall things. I wasn't counting calories. I wasn't depriving myself of deserts even. The only thing I wsas depriving was sugar and enriched flower. By this point I knew God had given me an answer to what I needed. I had so much energy it was amazing. This was the second week of July.
You wonder where I am going with all of this? Eli was just beginning to ride his bike. He wanted to go all over town. In order for this to happen I needed to be able to pull the youngest two in the bike trailer. Half the time riding my bike was an un enjoyable chore! So, with all my new found energy I grabbed the kids and said let's go for a bike ride. We rode across town and I wasn't even tired. My knee did give out. I had no muscle and had I continued the way I was going I knew I would end up with knee problems. Thankfully I have no more knee pain.
We rode to the elementary school and it became our fun in town get away for the summer. It was fitting we decided to take the kids back there last night. I had never taken my camera as I was able to run and play with them. The first day I was swinging and running all over. This is something I have hardly done with them ever. I had the energy to keep up. I sat on the swings and cried in all honesty. I sent a text to Anthony. He encouraged me, but I know deep down he figured I would give up. I haven't!! So last night I took the camera and captured the fun playground we used all summer. It has many memories. The kids love going and they know we won't be able to go as much when school starts.
You wonder where I am going with all of this? Eli was just beginning to ride his bike. He wanted to go all over town. In order for this to happen I needed to be able to pull the youngest two in the bike trailer. Half the time riding my bike was an un enjoyable chore! So, with all my new found energy I grabbed the kids and said let's go for a bike ride. We rode across town and I wasn't even tired. My knee did give out. I had no muscle and had I continued the way I was going I knew I would end up with knee problems. Thankfully I have no more knee pain.
We rode to the elementary school and it became our fun in town get away for the summer. It was fitting we decided to take the kids back there last night. I had never taken my camera as I was able to run and play with them. The first day I was swinging and running all over. This is something I have hardly done with them ever. I had the energy to keep up. I sat on the swings and cried in all honesty. I sent a text to Anthony. He encouraged me, but I know deep down he figured I would give up. I haven't!! So last night I took the camera and captured the fun playground we used all summer. It has many memories. The kids love going and they know we won't be able to go as much when school starts.
We arrived just as a storm was coming in and I insisted we stay until we saw a rainbow. I was sure we would find one. A tiny sliver of one did appear. If you can see it it is in the almost middle of this photo towards the bottom.
Summer is coming to an end and for that I am sad. I am not sad for the things I have accomplished these few short months of summer though, 12 pounds gone, almost 2 sizes down, and a total of 23.5 inches gone off major parts of my body. Those goodwill shorts way too big now. My goal outfit I fit into last week. My body is healing. I may not lose weight one week, but I am losing inches. Years of abuse and neglect are going to take some time to heal. I may not weigh 120 pounds, but I am gaining my health. It is a hard pill to swallow some days, but it is happening.
We start a new chapter and I am ready to enrich my soul and immerse into teaching these kids The Charlotte Mason way. Mother culture and the Bible will be the center of my days. I am thrilled for what we have in store. The homeschool friends we have made have been invaluable to me this summer. One particular family has a special place in my heart. I have found a good friend and we can talk school for hours. She is an answer to prayer and a wonderful mom and friend. She has been a valuable resource. I can't wait to foster the growth of that friendship more. If tomorrow is your first day, I hope it goes wonderful. I hope not too many tears are shed and many things are learned. Enjoy this season. This is just one of the many quotes I have gleaned this month from Charlotte Mason. This year it will hold true for me. "....my object is to show that the chief function of the child-his business in the world during the first six or seven years of his life-it is to find out all he can, about whatever comes under his notice, by means of his five senses..." -Charlotte Mason Have a happy first day of school! I know we will.
We start a new chapter and I am ready to enrich my soul and immerse into teaching these kids The Charlotte Mason way. Mother culture and the Bible will be the center of my days. I am thrilled for what we have in store. The homeschool friends we have made have been invaluable to me this summer. One particular family has a special place in my heart. I have found a good friend and we can talk school for hours. She is an answer to prayer and a wonderful mom and friend. She has been a valuable resource. I can't wait to foster the growth of that friendship more. If tomorrow is your first day, I hope it goes wonderful. I hope not too many tears are shed and many things are learned. Enjoy this season. This is just one of the many quotes I have gleaned this month from Charlotte Mason. This year it will hold true for me. "....my object is to show that the chief function of the child-his business in the world during the first six or seven years of his life-it is to find out all he can, about whatever comes under his notice, by means of his five senses..." -Charlotte Mason Have a happy first day of school! I know we will.
No comments:
Post a Comment